Aaaarrrggh!!!

April 6, 2008 at 5:03 pm Leave a comment

sometimes I just hate my life. 4 real. jadi bukan titik jenuh lagi. tapi really wanna get out from here.

so i’m planning for a one-day trip to Bandung as soon as possible. i just wanna be alone and want to spend my life time ALONE. real ALONE. just one word. ALONE. on my own. just me. just myself. just I.

this f* life. i prayed for a better one. but why did i pray? what did I tell God? i prayed just becoz i haven’t prayed since last year. so i guess i was just gonna say hello to God… how r u? how’s this world goin on? i know it is going crazy and crazier all the time. and i cried, for my self, and my life. asking for a better day,  and anything i wanted to pray for. not just me, but all of the people in my life. even i talked about my friend who already passed away. but, my life. still… like an empty bottle, but sounds so loud when you bang it.

now i become like an atheist or something like that. i don’t pray when i eat. i don’t pray when i go to work.  i’m afraid of dark. i begin to hate friday and saturday. and now… i don’t know what the hell happen to me, but i am so bored of doing all the tasks or anything i gotta do for my church. i hate that the Satan is winning right now. i just let it happens. but i’m still afraid of dying. becoz if one day i die. i would be punished to hell…!!!!!

and what the hell i was talking about?! jeeezz..

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“I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.”

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